I have been doing a lot of "thinking" lately. I am not for sure if I am hormonal from being pregnant or if it is just the joys of being a mother, but I have sure teared up ALOT lately. Maci has changed my whole perspective on life as I "knew it". I always used to wonder why my parents, especially my mom, would worry so much, cry at a drop of a hat about one of her children, or work 3 jobs sometimes just to make ends meet, BUT know I think I have just a small inkling why. I would DIE for my children if I had to---Does it really just happen like that--Motherhood--life as we knew it changes in an instant? Maci absolutely has done something to my heart that nothing could have done before. I can just stare at the baby monitor and shed a tear at how peaceful she is sleeping in her OWN bed, not mine or the way she grabs at my face as she is in my arms as to say, "Mom, I LOVE YOU!", or when we look at pictures and we stumble upon one of her and her dad and her face lights up as she says"dadda dadda dadda"! Oh boy, life as I knew it is no more--THIS is life. My mom wasn't different, mean, or weird she was just like every mom then, now and after me---our life--our hearts change. This new little sprout definitely threw us for a loop, but my heart must be big enough to hurt and love so more. I loved the life "as I knew it", but hand in hand with my husband, This IS the life now and what a blessing and honor!
2 comments:
So sweet! You almost made me cry, but I held it in. :) I bet when your mom reads this she will bawl! ha! You're a great mom!!!
I just read this, it's true, every single word. I'll never forget the moment my little baby was in my arms...and all I could think about was calling my mom and saying "SORRY!"...sorry for all the dumb things I did, sorry for not telling you where I was that time when...sorry, sorry, sorry. Now as I have this countdown in my future (4.5 years) before Zac leaves home, my heart just breaks. How do we let them go? Deep sigh. So hard being a mommy.
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